我真的真的。。。好希望能在跟以前这样。。。

你知不知道。。。
我的心，真的真的好痛啊。。。
已经到了连哭都哭不出来，笑也笑不出来的地步。。。

你知道吗？

I HATE YOU

"Thanx... Can promise me one thin... Remember to find me back if you wan come back. Sry. I am not as strong as i thought. Take care. "

Will u...
ever miss me?

Are u...
still loving me?

I miss you..
I love you...
and I need you so...

Please come and stay...
Or never come back again...

Today...
I wunt forget wat i heard..
"I hate talking to you from this moment on"
"Nowadays I quiet also scared of quarrel"

it's not about u not meeting me yesterday or wad..
it's the way u talk when i call just to ask how u are...
i miss that nite...and i really hapi that nite...wed nite...
but the next day u are sick..
I m alrite yesterday nite...reali alrite...
till today i woke up...wondering who in the hell care for me?
when i told u early morning my finger kana hot water...
when afternoon u finally woke up...the sms seems so extra...
The calls I made to u...to ask abt your conditions...made u sound so irritated..
"why u like so sianx?"
"..i going to slp den u call me ma"

For the past 1 or 2 or mabbe 3 days, i've tried...tried my very best to find stuffs to talk to u..in car or outside...i've really tried...
i know u're tired, u're thinkin stuffs...so i can only keep trying...trying my very best to find topic to tok...to even make u smile or happi.to update u on my stuffs in office..or even wads been happening ard me...but u'll nvr know behind all these i've done...i felt so helpless..everythin is just making mi more n more hurt n depressed.
No, its not abt that medicine...coz i m perfectly ok...
u asked mi to bear with it for 2-3 months..till ur job stable ...
i've tried...really tried...
but u noe wad...?wad if in 2-3 months time, you remain the same...u used to this way of treating me...thinking that i can bear with it etc...sry i doubt u so much.
wad if 2-3months time...the love i had for u..slowli disappear with everyday ...and wad if i begin to hate u instead of love u?
I understd ur stress, ur concerns..
and maybe i think too much..or even mabbe i m very hu li qu nao to u..
i do hope we can realli start afresh like wad u told mi after the quarrel...
i've also tried not to quarrel with u...not to complain abt ur bad again...
but sry...i guess i juz nid u to show mi some care...to love mi...and to always think that today will be the last day..so u'll treasure me and cherish me..not venting anger...venting all those "trapped" emotions on me...
i knoe..we shld b spendin everyday happily n not quarrel...
but sry again..i cant...i reali cant force myself to act hapi, act as though ur expression, ur replies, ur words doesnt matter to me anymore..
sry again..my tears almost drop down while makin mornin call to u...
the thought of u not even bother abt i m hurt by the hot water a not..just did a serious damage to my heart again..
n sry again..for this blog is not updated for quite long...coz of work too busy..
n sry ..for bein such a burden to u ...or even appear selfish to u..just for askin u to also treat my family gd..n sry for keep cryin..n saying sry..all i hope for..is juz to be happy...
**Am just a bit tired...guess u are too...been slpin less than 5hrs everyday**


When A Girl Cries

When a girl cries it doesn’t mean she's weak...
If a girl cries in front of u...it means that she couldn’t take it anymore.
If u takes her hand, she would stay with u for the rest of ur life;
If u let her go, she couldn’t go back to being herself anymore.

A girl won’t cry easily, except in front of the person whom she loves the most, she becomes weak.
A girl won’t cry easily, only when she loves u the most, she puts down her ego.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of u, please hold her hands firmly, coz she's the one who is willing to stay with u 4 for the rest of ur life.
Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of u, please don’t give her up, maybe bcoz of ur decision, u ruin her life.

When she cries rite in front of u, When she cries bcoz of u, Look into her eyes, Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?
Think.
Which other girl have cried with pure sincerity, In front of u, AND bcoz of u?

She cries not because she is weak, She cries not bcoz she wants sympathy or pity, She cries, Because crying silently is no longer possible, the pain, hurt n agony has become too big a burden to be kept inside.
Guys, Think about it, If a girl cries her heart out to u, And all because of u, Its time to look back on wat u have done, Only u will know the answer to it.
Do consider it, Coz one day, It may be too late for regrets, It may be too late to say "I'm sorry"... ***

You may regret it for the rest of ur life. Maybe in ur life, she's the only one who loves u the most.


---------------
29-Jun-07 14:57
"You wat time finish work 515 ? I maybe late abit"

29-Jun-07 15:00
"K k k you go eat lo later call you"

29-Jun-07 19:13
"Haven now at customer there you eat first ba"

30-Jun-07 02:26
"Dear reach home le"

30-Jun-07 02:28
"Nite nite to you muacks dear"

28th June 2007, Saturday

------------
28-Jun-07 16:13
"Dear not fetching you le"

28-Jun-07 19:31
"Dear i go find you later my brother using car le"

28-Jun-07 19:32
"Wat you doing ?"

28-Jun-07 22:08
"Good nite i go sleep liao not good mood and sorry for accusing you"

28-Jun-07 22:11
"The way you talk is like i am always at fault you know ?"

28-Jun-07 22:13
"Sorry for wat ?"

28-Jun-07 22:14
"Dear i feel we are drifting apart you know ? Everything is not getting rite"

28-Jun-07 22:19
"I just wan you to be yourself tat all but don because i say this thing tat thing you change or anythins make me feel worst i need to nag only thanks hope u with me always"

28-Jun-07 22:26
"Dear i feel sorry to scold you or throw temper on you really just be with me by my side can le really"

28-Jun-07 22:29
"I just wan to know are you with me ?"

28-Jun-07 22:30
"Dear sorry for treat you no good i will change thanks for being with me"

28-Jun-07 22:35
"Dear just wan to let you know i love you really and i tired liao just now cry i go sleep really sorry also nite and muacks"

27th June 2007, Friday

--------
27-Jun-07 23:00
"Stupid dear i go bath lo"

27-Jun-07 23:20
"Ok dear i go sleep lo nite nite"

26th June 2007, Tuesday

--------
26-Jun-07 17:04
"I not fetching you"

26-Jun-07 20:38
"No la wat bad"

26-Jun-07 20:50
"Y"

26-Jun-07 20:53
"Go rest lo"

26-Jun-07 20:55
"Dear i do wrong again ?"

26-Jun-07 21:49
"Dear sorry i go down eat mac never see your s m s i go sleep le nite nite tomorrow same time"

26-Jun-07 21:51
"Eight thank you dear"

26-Jun-07 21:53
"You like no good mood don make you angry"

26-Jun-07 21:57
"You trying to tell me something ?"

26-Jun-07 22:00
"Wat make you so un happy can tell me"

26-Jun-07 22:07
"Nite"

26-Jun-07 23:41
(Empty)

26-Jun-07 23:43
"I now got car you still wan to eat ?"

26-Jun-07 23:44
"Ok good nite i wait de never mind i also tired le"

26-Jun-07 23:47
"Orh good nite"

25th June 2007, Monday

-------------------------------------
25-Jun-07 13:37
"Dear eat more"

25-Jun-07 23:01
"Dear i doing paper work tomorrow need wan last one then i go sleep le and dear don be silly la dear miss you"

26-Jun-07 00:03
(Blank)

24th June 2007, Sunday

1.Went down find him again...miss bus..take wrong bus..and got to bear with his temper
2.Only today den i realise i m one of those tat will drive him crazy..the other 2 are work and his dad..
3.Apparently i m being accused of taking his freedom again
4.My heart really so pain to hear all those
5.He send me home


---------------
24-Jun-07 17:09
"Dear no car now"

24-Jun-07 17:11
"Nothing"

24-Jun-07 17:15
"You don think too much la dear it ok just i p e k chey only really nothing and i cant meet you earli my bro and father use car dear sorry for my temper forgive me sorry dear dear don angry k ? Muacks you eat more meet you later"

24-Jun-07 20:22
"Nothin not good mood"

25-Jun-07 02:47
"Dear i know i make you sad i disappointed you alot of times i will improve give me some time and thanks for loving me"

25-Jun-07 05:50
"Dear i cannot sleep sorry to hurt you really love you Whole hearted sorry dear"

23rd June 2007, Saturday

1.Long bang mama's car to Lavender
2.Took bus 67 to find him cox he say he ls sick
3.A bit disappointed coz apparentli wad i told him is like the same, his sis came with him ..we ate at cartel..n his sis pay
4.Feel wan go ktv...dun care abt who he bring all tat ..so went ktv with him n his sis
5.He fetched his mom go..but fetch her bek coz she dun wan go
6.Went loyang pt but rooms occupied ..call up few places full aso..so waited for shenton way's
7.He sing song with me
8.After singing, fetch me home...



----------
23-Jun-07 14:32
"I at home just wake why?"

23-Jun-07 14:36
"I sick la dear lao sai"

24-Jun-07 04:23
"Dear i reach home liao good nite"

24-Jun-07 04:25
"Cox my sister come along ?"

22nd June 2007, Friday

1.i on mc to see dentist
2.Come find me
3.Fetch me home
4.Teman me even though he got work tml..


-----------
22-Jun-07 13:33
"Got"

22-Jun-07 14:18
"Dear you still working or off liao"

22-Jun-07 14:21
"Ok"

23-Jun-07 00:58
"Home in toilet"

23-Jun-07 01:00
"Ok dear good nite to you"

21st June 2007, Thursday

1.No meet me...
2.Call me and tok to me


---------------
21-Jun-07 13:25
"Dear eat more forget tell you i on mc"

21-Jun-07 13:32
"Ya sore thor"

21-Jun-07 13:33
"Later"

21-Jun-07 13:34
"No need la"

21-Jun-07 13:36
"Den you come lo"

21-Jun-07 16:10
"Go home rest lo , see how your father also" <--cos papa really go catch a lot snails, wan mama chop them up n boil soup...

21-Jun-07 19:09
"Later see how maybe go find you"

21-Jun-07 22:31
"Yes dear"

21-Jun-07 22:35
"Ha ha ha yang over and dragon girl"

21-Jun-07 23:18
"Sleeping"

21-Jun-07 23:22
"K k nite nite dear muacks"

20th June 2007, Wednesday

1.Initially wanted to fetch me home but he suddenly cannot come..make me rush to pack up my stuffs to go chase transport
2.Came my house here to find me at 6 plus 7 plus...
3.He rush drive them home and rush down meet me...
4.Went eat thing.. at his house...
5.Send me home
**I saw the card given by his ex...the v day card she wanted to pass him initally...
apparently it still got to him through gladys..haha...fated?
To him..its nothin..but he dunno really how i felt...those words those neo prints and the way the gifts by her always find their way to him.
i realli feel like backing out of this whole thing..i m sick of everythin i saw i heard
He nvr for once thought abt how i feel...He wunt even open his mouth n tell Gladys to let his ex know...dun keep give him gifts or cards all that ...He realli duno..maybe all along i just hope for some form of assurance...against his ex...but i nvr got anythin..all i get was more insecurity as i hear him speak up for his ex instead..
As i look at the card i gave n the card she gave..i suddenly just feel like tearing mine..She's good...to him..she's got money and she'll treat him good...sometimes i just feel like asking him to go for her back..i m so sick n tired of tis...**
^happy bday to ah boy ..n sry for makin u so tired the previous day till you forgot abt his bday n start blaming yourself.^

-------------
20-Jun-07 05:25
"Dear give up wat ? You ok anot ? Don give up on us anythins just tell me"

20-Jun-07 13:44
"Dear can transfer me 20 buck first ?"

20-Jun-07 14:07
"Ok thanks"

20-Jun-07 14:17
"Thanks return you on friday"

20-Jun-07 17:28
"I go fetch you"

20-Jun-07 19:18
"Slowly la don rush"

21-Jun-07 01:59
"Dear dear sleep early thanks got miss you"

19th June 2007, Tuesday

1.No meet me today...
2.Bear with my emotional talk..and care for me
3.Wanted come find me even though he tired...

---------------------------------------
19-Jun-07 09:08
"Dear i wake lo thanks muacks"

19-Jun-07 16:26
"Dear not fetching you later then meet you"

19-Jun-07 22:57
"Dear i am sorry tired le go sleep le nite just now a bit angry with you i wan go find you de"

19-Jun-07 23:01
". . . . I never blame you or say you not good le my head giddy le"

19-Jun-07 23:08
"I treat you no good i go improve la give me sometimes"

19-Jun-07 23:11
"Dear i eat panadol lo if never reply you mean i sleep le cox i very giddy really never bluff you"

18th June 2007, Monday

1.Meet me for lunch
2.Fetch me to JP makan lunch...
3.Send me bek office..
4.No go smoke cos i dun like...(though he didnt say)
5.Say he wan bubble tea and ask me go buy for him...cos he knoe i wan drink..only that he say till i dun feel like drink le..(though he nvr say again)


----------------------
18-Jun-07 18:24
"Can"

19-Jun-07 01:05
"Dear i don can i go sleep anot ?"

19-Jun-07 01:08
"Dear nite i really love you don worry i don lie to you"

19-Jun-07 01:19
"Dear don think too much la go rest please"

17th June 2007, Sunday

1.No meet me...
2.Call me and tok to me...and wait for car..
3.Call me and ask if wan eat a not..he tabao for me.


--------------

17-Jun-07 13:19
"Morning"

17-Jun-07 21:08
"Dear you just wake up ?You pig ar"

17-Jun-07 21:10
"Never mind"

17-Jun-07 21:34
"No why?"

17-Jun-07 21:36
"Not coming . Why ? You wan to buy thing ?"

17-Jun-07 23:04
"Haven"

17-Jun-07 23:05
"Wan to go fetch my mother from ah ma house"

18-Jun-07 00:17
"Sian of me ?"

18-Jun-07 00:19
"Everything is wat ?"

18-Jun-07 00:40
"Dear jiayou ba i don know wat can i say le"

18-Jun-07 00:43
"(empty)"

18-Jun-07 00:44
"Dear i never blame you don worry"

18-Jun-07 01:15
"Dear dear nite nite muacks"